I realized that I never posted about my horribly embarrassing "appreciation incident" that i had referenced to a few weeks ago. I posted it in my other blog, so I'm going to share it with you (whoever it is that reads my blog, LOL)

So without further ado, "i'd appreciate it if you didn't appreciate me" (September 21st, 2008):

So last week Pastor Bob called me on the phone out of the blue. He hasn't called me much in the past few years honestly although i had been apart of ministry because i tend to keep to myself. I find myself floundering for words whenever i speak to him. I have trouble speaking coherently to him because in my head, he is an authority figure and so usually my part in our conversations usually involve "yes pastor," "I will," "Thank you Pastor" and "I love you too, Pastor" Then the conversation ends, i hang up and I find myself roped into doing something that i didn't plan on doing because i when he asks me things i don't have the power to tell him no.

Which is how i got myself into the mess that i was in this morning at church. He called last week to make sure that i would be in church this Sunday (because to be perfectly honest, ever since i haven't been in charge of the nursery I've taken advantage of Sunday mornings to catch up on my sleep) Honestly i was a bit embarrassed that he noticed, which did not help at all with my problem with staying coherent when talking to him. He said that he appreciated what I've done for the church (Thank you, Pastor) And told me that he really hoped I would come church this Sunday ("I will, Pastor") and that he would like to show his appreciation to me if i were to be there this Sunday (Thank You, Pastor.) He said that he looked forward to seeing me and to pass his love on to my family ("I love you too, Pastor") and bob's your uncle, I was roped into standing in front of a crowd of people and to be recognized for something that i only agreed to do because it was a way to serve God without having to interact with grown ups.

I've been thinking about it every day since then, kicking myself for not telling him no.

Today was the big day. I made myself a big breakfast so that I wouldn't pass out on the way to the stage. I spent two hours picking out my outfit last night and Caleb's outfit. I even told my husband what he was going to wear this morning. I hogged the bathroom putting on makeup that I never wear and I rushed around the house following after Caleb making sure that once i got him dressed, Caleb wouldn't dirty his outfit. I ended up obsessing over small details so much that we made ourselves late to church. Great.

We sat in the very back. The butterflies in my stomach kept me from really focusing on anything that Pastor had to say in the morning. I couldn't concentrate on the songs at all either. I tried to look up at the large TV screens in front of the church to read the words but they looked blurry and out of focus. I had broken my glasses weeks ago and still haven't replaced them. We really shouldn't have sat in the back.

Everytime Pastor would begin talking about something else my stomach would tighten and i worried that he would be calling me up on the stage soon. I sat there, regretting eating such a big breakfast (after all it would leave a bad impression if i ended up throwing up all over him) and wishing i Pastor would forget he ever wanted to appreciate me.

And then he started talking about wanting to appreciate two women who were involved in the childrens ministry and i knew that he wouldn't forget. My palms started sweating and i briefly contemplated running out the back doors. They were only 15 feet away. So close, and yet, so far...

Luckily he called someone else was recognized before I was and i was able to see what to expect. He spoke a few words to her about how much he appreciated her and how important her work was, and how faithful she was, and then he gave her a small plaque, a large picture with a scripture on it and a small card of appreciation. Then it was my turn.

He said my name and my hand tightened on my husbands. He said that he wanted to appreciate two women, but by god, if i was going to get appreciated for hiding in the nursery, so was my husband. There was no way i was going up there alone. Luckily Pastor remembered my husband as well, and told him to come up. Ha, like he had a choice.

So up we went. I took special care as we walked up the stairs. I was wearing a long dress and i didn't want to trip. That would be just like me, to have the spotlight shining down on me when things went wrong. I made it up there OK and then everything else became a blur.

Pastor spoke again about faithfulness and taking care of "the least of these" and Pastor Cynthia reminded me about how i was spoken to at a women's ministry conference and its what pushed me to be involved in the nursery. I had forgotten about that. I hope nobody else noticed the dubious look i gave her as she began to the story.

Anyway, he read the plaque he gave me out to everyone and spoke to me again about how appreciative he was, and then he picked up the big picture to hand to me and....the frame broke into pieces spilling the picture onto the floor. Pastor tried to make a grab for it, but it just broke into more pieces. I just stood there in shock. I was mortified.

But to my credit i didn't run and hide (I was already in front of everybody anyway, they would have seen where i went) I laughed. Luckily i wasn't the only one, otherwise i would have looked like a jerk. Took us all a few minutes to regain our composure, although i kept my hand over my mouth for the rest of the time they spoke. He promised to fix it, or to return it or something. I don't remember, it was just too funny. I couldn't believe that had happened.

I think pastor said it best. "Here she was not even wanting to come up here and now nobody will ever forget it"

Hopefully they remember the picture and not me. LOL.

That'll teach him for trying to appreciate me!